Marriage is one of the biggest decisions that a person makes in life. This decision has a direct and grave impact on the way future life of the person turns out to be. It is also a major contributor to the happiness of both the partners involved in the relationship. After tying the marital knot, the life of two people doesn’t remain the same. Therefore, the decision needs to be taken after proper contemplation's because divorce is not highly recommended in Islam, similarly to all other faiths and religions.
A man said to Al-Hassan Al-Basriy: “To whom should I marry my daughter?” Al-Hassan said, “To one who fears Allah or if he comes to love her, he will honour her and if he dislikes her, he will not oppress her.
Listed below are some basic principles to consider while choosing a righteous Muslim spouse:
Islam is a religion of purity, spirituality and height of character, therefore, there can be no doubt in this regard that the selection criteria for a marriage partner is the character of the individual above everything else. Allah Almighty says in Quran:
“Women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity.” (24:26)
Therefore, seeking purity should be the prime objective when selecting a partner for marriage. For both Muslim men and women it is imperative that they find pure partners for marriage, so that the foundation for the relation could be laid upon purity.
In another hadith, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: “A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, for her rank, for her beauty, and for her religion (and character), so marry the one who is best in the religion and character and prosper.” (Bukhari).This hadith of Prophet (PBUH) makes it evident that above everything the one thing that should be considered while getting married to someone is his or her character. The character or religiousness of a person is more important than the property, than the rank and beauty. Although this hadith is directed towards selection of women, however, if women were to select men, they could also follow the same criteria and select men on the bases of their character and not their wealth.
The Prophet (PBUH) praised a woman with good religious qualities, saying: “shall I not inform you of the best treasure that a man gathers-A righteous wife.” [Reported by Al-Hakeem].
Having a devoted wife is a blessing to any husband as she carries herself accordingly having great regard to the teachings in the holy Quran. Allah says: “Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to.”[Surah An-Nisaa: 34] the devoutly obedient (Qaanitaat) here refers to those women who obey their husbands-by guarding their honor, wealth and lives in their absence.
In conclusion, a happy marriage doesn’t depend on fame or wealth. Happiness stems from spiritual nearness and mutual understanding between one another.